Friday, March 1, 2013

Douchebags in Disguise are the Worst

Guys who hide their douchebag sides are the worst.

They're worse than the assholes who are straight up obnoxious, who don't bother hiding their horrible personalities. No, at least those assholes can be easily avoided. It doesn't take much effort to realize just how terrible they are and turn away from them. The worst ones are the guys who pretend to be the good guys.

They think that they're so much better than all of those other assholes that you avoid--but they're just as bad! And that's because you don't see their true colors until too late!

Guys who say that they're the nicest guys around are fucking pretentious, egotistical assholes. They're not humble; they just think that they behave better than other guys. And if they have the audacity to say that you won't find a better guy than themselves, they are full of fucking shit.

Oh my god, I'm so mad. I'm fuckin' furious.

Don't play the "nice guy" card, because you are not one of them. You're a hypocritical jerk who thinks that you're above all of the other guys just because you don't sleep around or get drunk everyday.

No, you're worse.

You're worse because you trick everyone into thinking that you're a good guy, that all of your little faults can be overlooked because you eventually apologized. No. You're an asshole, too, just like all of those other guys you claim you aren't like. But you're even worse than them because you're so much more sly about your true colors and you get the benefit of the doubt most of the time. Until your bullshit was finally revealed.

And now we hate you. We all hate you. And pretty soon, you're going to be gone. One month's notice is more than enough time to find a new place to live. After that, we don't have to deal with you anymore.

I can't believe she had to deal with your piece of shit self for the past two and a half years before revealing the truth. "You won't find anyone better than me?"

Are you fucking kidding me? Challenge accepted. I bet I can find someone better than you before you even move out.

You say that when it's actually the opposite. You can't find anyone better than her, and you're too fucking scared and lazy to find another one for yourself! You don't even want a girlfriend, you just want someone to fucking mother you! And you're fucking 24 years old?!

Grow up little boy. Get out and fucking grow up. And find someone else to put up with your bullshit.

God, last night was a huge revelation. I'm glad she finally told us.

That bastard's not worth it. He's not worth anyone's time.

So even if you find a nice guy, be weary, because he could just be an asshole in disguise.

Really, I don't even want to think about this anymore. I'm not even sure how I'm going to handle myself when I see the asshole in person.

I'm just glad that the weekend is here.

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