Monday, December 12, 2011

Creepy Pick-Up Lines

The last time Krista came over, we found a bunch of creepy pick-up lines that had us laughing our heads off or ewwing in disgust. XD Most of these take creepy to a whole new level, lol. 

The second half came from here.
  • That shirt would look great on my floor. Right next to the pile of panties I stole out of your dryer. They smell like you. 
  • *fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squooge* Imagine that inside you. I do, everyday. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!? 
  • You remind me of Pokemon. I wanna pikkachu. I also want to keep you in a giant plastic ball in my basement. 
  • You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. 
  • Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice? 
  • Excuse me, i managed to notice that every time i pass you, a monster grows inside me called "bitch get in my car" i just hope it doesn't escape and make me call after it ... 
  • Let me spell my love for you S-T-A-L-K-E-R 
  • Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you. 
  • I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes?(if no) Please?! 
  • Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on? 
  • "I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U..." 
  • I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you. 
  • You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20. 
  • Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime? 
  • Girl your are so hot I'd do you dead or living.
  • I like when you lay still like that....
  • You don’t know me, but your hair smells amazing. (Especially when woven into a shirt.)
  • What’s your favorite game? Mine’s called Following You Without You Knowing.
  • You look so cute when you’re sleeping. P.S. Try cleaning your closet sometime.
  • I wish I could sew myself to you.
  • I will give you one thousand dollars to smell your shoes. Please. It’s an emergency.
  • I would make out with your shadow on a gravel driveway.
  • How much money do you want for your old toothbrush?
  • We would make an amazing couple. I’m the guy sitting behind you at Starbucks right now. I got your number by looking over your shoulder while you were texting your boyfriend.
  • My pet bird died. I still have him though. He’s my only friend.
  • I want to put your Q-tips up my nose and go to sleep.
  • You know those birds that live inside crocodile’s mouths? I want to live inside your mouth.
  • Quick, tell me everything you know about black market organ donation.
  • I made a blood painting for you.
  • I love you more than my jar of fingers.
  • My favorite color is clear. That way I can always see you.
  • I bought the most expensive binoculars. That’s how much I love you.
  • You remind me of my sister. In a romantic way.
  • You would make a great soup.
  • I named my cat after you. You’re welcome.
  • Maybe you’ll love me back, in heaven.
  • I want to chew your food for you.
  • Wanna go to the movies? JK, let’s take a nap at the cemetery.
  • I painted a picture of your soul. I’ll give it to you outside the abandoned knife factory at midnight. Come alone.
  • I invented an emotion to describe our relationship, it’s called loveangerfrowns.
  • May I have a piece of your toenail clippings to tape to my eyeglass lens?
  • Just thought I would let you know, today is our negative two year anniversary.
  • You are like an angel that died and then was reborn as a woman. I know because you still smell like dead angel.
  • The veins in your neck are exquisite. Simply exquisite.
  • My aunt says I’m the best kisser she’s ever known.
  • I would do anything for you. Especially steal tranquilizers from the vet’s office. Seriously, say the word. I’ll do it.
  • I want to live in a nest of your hair.
  • On a scale from one to ten, I’m attracted to you whatever number equals being willing to rip out my own heart and put it in a box and leave it on your doorstep. Is that a seven?
  • Remember when you said my nose was weird? I cut it off! Can we go out now?
  • I secretly changed my name to your name, so when I tongue-kiss the mirror we are finally happening.
  • What do you mean you don’t want to go out with me? I have a shrine to you! A SHRINE!
  • My favorite movie is a cell phone video I made of you playing field hockey. It’s called Silence of the Lambs 4.


  1. lol! this stuff is pure creeper gold!

  2. I'm definitely using these. ;) except for the one about the bird... I seriously still have Carlos..

    1. It's alright.. We understand you, man. I have a unicorn bag named Carlos.

    2. Thats not creepy at all..

    3. tehehehe so not to be creepy but I had a shrine of my x and I am a canable I not crazy

  3. Knowing that I myself am a creeper, I'd probably welcme any pick up lines having to do *with the* dead or cemetaries.. Or, hell, even blood and souls. •_•

  4. These are Hilarious! Facebook Statuses for sure. Bahaha

  5. I would go for the nap in the cemetry one and the blood painting that's really sweet.

    1. I like the std in stud one

  6. ummm...who ever came up with these...can i date u? *__*

  7. Funny person named Shiana, I'll say these to.

  8. Who ever came up with these have issues. Very funny issues though. (;

  9. These are soooooooo dang creepy! If someone used this on me, i'd be so freaked out!


  10. beautiful collection, every single one of them had their own blow.Superb!!!
    Thanks for the effort and also thanks for sharing.

  11. ummm... yeah iff any guys say these to me theyre dead

  12. Not as dead as you're gonna be when I leave your crawlspace...

  13. your toothbrush tastes weird!

  14. Nice selection of pick up lines, buddy! Thanks for sharing. Add more please especially pick up lines for girls as I've been looking for some. Thanks!

  15. I used some of these under a private number to my friend. She is freaking out. OHMYGAWD xD

  16. HAha that awkward moment when you realize " that's not a socially acceptable thing to say. It all makes so much sense now."

  17. mna mna

  18. these are amazing

  19. "I named one of my dead iguanas after you. I made a condom wallet out of him as a present for you.

    ... You're welcome."

  20. "I named one of my dead iguanas after you. I also made a personalized condom wallet out of him as a present for you.

    ... You're welcome."

  21. These are amazing. Perfect things to say to creep out my friends.

  22. Oi!! kay? i luvvv dis sooo much....i use dis all time on my younger friend guyyyyyyy oh! kayyyy??

  23. What the tits! I love this I will use these on my crush.


  25. Hi there,

    Very nice pick up line you have posted. Here is some more pick up line.

    Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

    There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.

    You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

    Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

    "I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U..."

    Know what would look good on you? ME

    "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    Guy walks up and checks your tag- "just what I thought...made in heaven."

    For more visit Attractthemnow Thank you

  26. There's a friend of mine at my school who has a hot girlfriend I hit on, as a joke. My friend thinks it's hilarious and believes I'm the king of pick up lines. She challenged me to say one impressive pick up line to her everyday, and since my imagination isn't going far enough, I'll be sure to use some on these. And as a tip to others, an easy way to make a pickup line is to make an short innuendo. I started off with lines like 'If I was a balloon, would you blow me?', 'If I was body lotion, would you lather yourself with me?', 'If I was a lollipop, would you lick me repeatedly?', and other's like that. You can get creepy really fast with these, and it can be really funny.

  27. Another road to take for fun pick up lines are to use the 'innuendo one-liners'. Creations of mine are 'If I were a balloon, would you blow me?', 'If I was your child, would you breast feed me and spank me if I'm naughty?', 'If I were body lotion, would you lather yourself with me?', and many others. It would be a miracle for these to work, but you can also try the innuendo sentences. My best example is 'If you were selling coats, and I went to your house with an interest to buy a coat, and their in your coat rack in your room, would you bring me to your room and show me your rack?' If you want some more of my pick up lines, or ideas to help you make your own, contact me at

    If you contact me, mark it as important so I see it.

  28. U know the shrine one isnt creepy alot of desprate people have a shrine of there lover u never know there might be one of u right now

  29. OMG! Those were the creepiest pick up lines I read so far after these creepy pick up lines

  30. these are some of the good lines i have come across

  31. Hey are your parents retarded, cause you are special.
    You must drink milk, cause you turned out really fine.
    Excuse me, I dropped something because of you, My JAW!

    I've 51 of these bad pick up lines to contribute too :D enjoy!