Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Friend problems

I was talking to Shelle earlier today, and now I can't stop thinking about my whole Lauren issue after talking about what happened this weekend. 

I guess some backstory is needed first. Basically, since Meethu brought it up earlier this summer, I kind of realized that there are some parts of Lauren that I don't like? It's more like, it's fun to hangout with her once in a while, but after a while, things just get kind of awkward? And there are some parts of her personality that I just don't understand her reasoning of either. 

And unlike last year, where I usually saw her once a week, I barely see her anymore since this summer, which I think also impacts how I see her personality since it's so infrequent now and I'm not as used to her quirks since I see them less often so they're more obvious now. 

It's ironic because Meethu said that sometimes she felt uncomfortable around Lauren because of what she'd say or do, but now that they spend so much time together because of classes, she's fine with her.

But yeah, long story short: I see Lauren less now and notice more of her unsavory personality. This was reinforced over this weekend when we were at AWA with Jackie, David, and his little sis, Kim.

Basically, I have no idea why she was so aggressive and mean towards David this weekend. I mean, yeah, she probably meant it to be funny and playful, but she was so aggressive about it, almost always mean towards him. 

When I talked to David about it, he said it was probably because she was following the bandwagon since Jackie liked to throw him under the bus because of their "rivalry", and because Kim and I regularly throw him under the bus as well. But like, Kim does it because their siblings, and I do it because I'm always playfully mean towards him and usually kiss him afterwards. Jackie is mean to him jokingly, but not all of the time, unlike Lauren. She was straight up mean towards him sometimes. I even kind of had to tell her off on it once or twice.

But I also think that she was mean out of jealousy. A while ago, Raymond told me that Lauren was mad at him for a while because she thought that he was taking me away from her since we hungout so much together during one semester. That's what mainly keeps popping up in my head whenever I think about how mean she was towards David because I know I told her that I see David on Tuesdays and Thursdays the other day, which was a few days after she texted me saying she missed me. 

So yeah, David was basically bullied all weekend, and I didn't realize the extent of it until Shelle talked to me about it because she felt so bad for him from her observations of our group whenever she saw us. She said that I should stick up for him more and be more nice to him so that he knows that I'm just kidding about all of the mean things I say to him. And I feel like a really bad girlfriend because I didn't realize just how much it probably sucked for him this weekend. 

I didn't even ask him how he felt about all of the bullying! D: Knowing him, he wouldn't voice any complaints either way. D: I'm gonna see him on Friday, so we're gonna have a nice, long chat about this past weekend and make sure that we're on the same page and that I apologize for being such a bad girlfriend. 

And, I dunno, I might have to have a talk with Lauren as well if those two are ever gonna interact again.  

But yeah, this past weekend opened up my eyes to a lot of Lauren's quirks that I just don't understand. For example, Raymond was also supposed to come with us but dropped out at the last second because he was too busy. We were originally going to take two cars up there since there was six of us going, but since Raymond dropped, we could have taken just one car. But no, Lauren said that one car wouldn't fit all of our stuff so she'd still take her car since she had so much stuff. We're all pretty sure that we could have fit all of our stuff in David's trunk since it was empty and pretty spacious. She didn't even consider looking at his trunk and seeing if it was manageable; she just went to her car.

WHY? We could have save gas money and effort, because I know that she hates driving in Atlanta, so why would she willingly drive up there when David could do it instead? I don't understand her. My only reasoning is because she wants to be able to have her own escape route if she needs it and/or because she didn't want to be stuck in a car with some strangers. Idk.

Another thing, the whole sleeping arrangement thing. We've stayed at this hotel the last time we went to AWA, so we knew that there'd be two queen beds and a pullout bed in the living room area. The last time we were there, the couples got to sleep in the pullout bed since there's a partition to section the living room off from the bedroom to give some privacy.

I guess it was kind of assumed that I'd sleep with David in the pullout bed since Raymond wasn't there, but who gets the bed instead? Lauren. Her reasoning was because she didn't want to disturb the rest of us since she sleeps with her boxfan on. That, and because she doesn't like people touching her while she's asleep. But the partition is basically just two doors side-by-side, so we could all hear her fan anyway. -__-" 

And we just let her because Kim was already settled on a bed about to go to sleep, Lauren had already terrorized David into staying in bed with Kim to avoid Lauren, Jackie didn't care, and I was just so incredulous and didn't give a fuck since everyone else had already settled in bed. 

Like, I can understand her reasoning for not wanting to sleep with strangers since she had just met Kim, but she's met Jackie before and said that she didn't mind sleeping with her when we were trying to come up with sleeping arrangements last month, so why couldn't she sleep with Jackie this weekend? I mean, neither of us put up a fight with Meethu sleeping with Luke last year since they didn't get to see each other often. Why would she take the bed for herself when she knows that her friend would like to sleep with her boyfriend since she doesn't get to do that often? 

Like, isn't that an obvious thing to do for your friends who are in relationships? I guess I'm saying that because I know I wouldn't mind sleeping with a stranger if I knew that my friend got to sleep with her boyfriend that she doesn't get to spend much time with in the first place, and Jackie said the same thing last month when we were going over sleeping arrangements. 

Basically, I was pissed because her taking the pullout bed seemed incredibly selfish. 

And I never bothered calling her out on anything because they didn't seem like such a big deal at the time, but the more I think about it and how everything adds up... I should have called her out after all. It's just that everyone in our group is so chill about everything that we don't really care to protest about anything, so I doubt her behavior really bothered them that much either. Like, I was mildly annoyed whenever any of these things happened, but I just shrugged it off as a Lauren just being Lauren thing, but after talking about it all to Shelle, we realized that it's not a Lauren thing, it's a spoiled thing. 

Even though she has an older brother, he's around 10 years older than her, so she basically grew up as an only child, and she's used to getting her way, and no one in our group is bothered enough about it to put up a fight with her selfishness so she gets away with it. 

Another thing that she does that kind of annoys me is that whenever she meets new people, she always ends up telling all of these stories and experiences that she had to them, and she kind of puts on this air to seem cool, and I just want to tell her that she doesn't need to tell everyone her life story to impress them. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't really know what to say when people tell me stories of the good or bad things that happened to them because I don't know what they want me to say other than "oh, that sucks" or "that's pretty cool". Like, am I supposed to validate you??? Idk man, but Lauren does it a lot.

But yeah, I don't know if it's because I've known her for a while now and am finally seeing sides of her that I didn't notice before until Meethu brought it up and I started paying attention, or because we're just growing apart.

So yeah, now I'm in a dilemma. I don't see Lauren that often so is it even worth telling her all of my problems with her, and if I do, how do I do it so that I don't lose her friendship or let things get awkward with us? Or is her friendship even worth keeping if I have all of these problems with her?

No comments:

Post a Comment