Friday, November 7, 2008

different kinds of relationships for everyone

so on monday, i went to the library to start on my lit project. all of a sudden, this girl just sat down at my table and put her head down. i didnt bother her since i thought that she was gonna go to sleep for a bit.

but then, a minute later, i heard her laughing so i looked up, cuz i thought that she was sleeping. she had her arm out, leaning her head down on her hand and the other free hand was holding her cell phone. she was looking at the screen and making small laughing noises, only, it didnt seem right.

a minute later, i realized why. her "laughing" had eventually turned into sobbing. she was still staring at her phone, her hand that was propping her head up was now covering her eyes.

i was shocked. i never expected anything like that to happen. then, a teacher who had walked past us suddenly noticed her crying and askied if she wanted to go home. the girl said that she already called, she was waiting for someone to pick her up. the teacher offered her if she wanted to wait in her room away from prying eyes, but the girl said no.

after a bit, the teacher left and i stared down at my paper. the girl wasnt crying uncontrolably or anything; she just sobbed a few times every minute. i was stuch between asking her what was wrong and just leaving her alone since it kinda seemed like she wanted that.

but before i could do anything, another teacher noticed her and started asking her what was wrong. i couldnt really hear her since her words were kind of muffled behind her hand, but i heard something about her boyfriend's not speaking to her anymore and she doesnt know why.

the teacher kept reassuring her that everything's going to be okay, and eventually left. it was back to before; her sobbing and me trying to make up my mind. it was a few minutes until the bell rang so i figured that i'd leave her alone since she was gonna go home anyways. so i finished my homework and left her alone. i didnt want her to get mad at me for being nosy anyways (emotional people have uncontrolable mood swings!).

but now that i think about it, i shouldnt have left her alone. i should of asked her what was wrong. even people who like to keep to themselves need to tell someone what's going on every once in a while, or else they'd explode, and sometimes (as i realized the night before from the fic my pingpong boy), telling your problems to a stranger can be a good thing. it's one thing to tell an adult your problems, but it's a whole nother thing telling it to someone around your own age who can relate more.

and i realized when i lookeed back on it, that there were a couple of empty tables around me. if she had really wanted to be alone, she'd be more likely to go sit by herself. but she didnt. i dunno, i could be misinterpreting everything since the girl could of been thinking about something else since she was basically having a meltdown.

either way, i regret not talking to her. i feel bad cuz i think that i might of been some help, but i didnt do anything. it's frustrating to regret cuz it's just as bad as being helpless.

anyways, the reason why i even started writing this was cuz i remembered that haley's got a boypren now (bobby. everyone expected it since they always hang out). i doubt that anything like that would ever happen to her since it's totally not her, at least not anytime soon.

but like i said earlier, i dont like feeling regret and helpless. so i told her in her letter that if she has any problems, she'd better tell me; i dont know if i'll be able to help her, but i'm gonna try.

oh yea! taylor said that she was gonna bring cupcakes to 1st period to celebrate her birfday (she ended up bringing brownies instead)! free food in the morning!

jeez, all day on my birfday (also election day), all everyone talked about was either about obama or mccain. in every class, it was mentioned at least once and that was all i heard in the halls. and we actually had an announcement at the end of the day by our principal saying that we couldnt wear any politcal stuff to school any more. the teachers said that we couldnt even talk about it in class. but yeah, on my birfday, we got our first black (technically, islamic) president in history.

people have been telling me that our school's bad. apparently, that's why we always have at least one police officier on campus. i just thought that it was cuz it's a pretty big school and all big schools have one. but our school's not as bad as macon's schools. jen says that half of our school are gang members, druggies, and whores, and that includes the kids in honor classes. i was surprised at that; no one i've met are anything like that. altho, i've only met around 120 people out of more than 1000, so that could be why.

the only person who i've met who's even remotely close to a whore is caleb. he kinda reminds me of evan when he hits on everyone and tries to be sexy (he only ends up looking like a retard, tho). but yeah, he's a player who flirts with any good looking girl. all he talks about is sex or whatever he says eventually ends up with sex or something along the lines. and he's really loud when he gets into whatever he's talking about, so the people who pass by our table at lunch gives him crazy looks half the time.

ugh, robby and mike double-teamed me and kept poking me during the last 10 minutes in tech theater on tuesday and wednesday. when i managed to block one of them, the other would get behind me and poke me! i couldnt defend myself at all!

katey and i have come to the conclusion that mike is like a kitty. at first, we thought that he was a puppy cuz he would act childish when people told him to do something (mainly tyler), but when katey asked him to do something, he actually did it (no, he doesnt like her like that, he has a girlfriend). when i mentioned that to her, she said, "yeah, he's like a puppy." but today, i had a piece of string and he kept trying to catch it even though i kept on moving it around at the last second. this went on for at least a whole minute with his eyes glued on the piece of string.

then i said, "you know, you're more like a kitty, not a puppy."

he said, "yeah, i like dogs but-" stares at string "-i like cats more."

so yeah, now he's katey's kitty. he doesnt know what to do unless you tell him and that takes a while. :P

dood! i cant believe that krista and john are going out! lindsey told me on myspace the other day. i never expected them to get together. i always thought that haley and john eventually would get together and become the offical Creamy Couple like our group had always predicted. i really need to call krista...

in science yesterday, we were supposed to do a lab but the thing we were supposed to experiment with wasnt working, so we got to spend the whole period looking at things through a microscope. it was really cool! i got to look at these small snails (about the same width as my pinky nail) and jamie and megan looked at the roots of their hair. it was disgustingly fascinating. it looked really gross, but you just couldtnt look away.

and michael was acting all depressed and angry (he kept banging his head on the table cuz he said that it makes him feel better) and it was pissing me off. he kept saying how he was glad that this day was finally over (after school while waiting for the bus) and exploding and getting mad at our classmates.

like i said, it was pissing me off. he wouldnt tell me why he was so angry and yet he kept on bringing it up and crap. like he wanted me to keep on asking him what was wrong when i dont give a crap. if you're not gonna frickin tell me, then dont bring it up; i dont care.

i'm not even nice to him anymore; more like curt with my words and half the time, i give him the cold shoulder. i dont see why he still hangs out with me. but then again, today, he told me that i'm his best friend cuz i'm the only one who cares about him; something that no one has ever done before. now that i think about it, what about his girlfriend for 3 years? i really wish that i could think of these things when they happen, so it'd be much easier to deal with. but anyways, what the heck? when have i ever cared for him?

i think that our friendship is really twisted. like how it is in some books. and i'm the bad guy. you know those relationships where the boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on their boyfriend or girlfriend or is just plain mean and abusive towards them, but in the end, the cheated/abused boyfriend/girlfriend still ends up crawling back to them. yeah, i'm the bad person and michael's the pathetic one who always keeps on coming back. but i'm not that bad, i mean, i dont make fun of him or anything, i just get annoyed with him and ignore him. but he still waits for me at the end of the day when i'm at my locker and wants me to walk with him after science's over to got to our lockers.

i wish that he'd leave me alone. i dont want to say anything like it to him cuz i dont want him to be all emo and kill himself. i dont want his death to be on my conscience or anything. i mean, i normally wouldnt want to be alone with no friends in a class, but if i was gonna be alone cuz michael finally left me alone, then i would. it's more like, because of him, i dont have any friends in there.

whatever. i dont want to deal with this right now.

so yeah, it was my birfday this week. i'm gonna have a party cuz my parents wants to show everyone where we live now. the party's tomorrow so i hafta clean my room up and make it look like i dont even live here :P but i'm gonna procrastinate like always. and i have 2 projects i need to be working on, too. and some people from ATL are gonna be spending the night, too.

*sighs* i havent had alot of sleep all this week. one day, i only slept for 2 hours. i've been dozing off in health but it doesnt help. but yeah, looks like i'm never gonna get enough sleep anytime soon.

and last night, i found this thing on my computer that can take screen shots and i showed shelle (we're not sure why she came home yesterday) it and we found this sound recorder on our laptops, too. so we tested out the recorder to see if it worked and dood! i never knew my voice sounds like that! i dont really like it. i was gonna record myself later to hear it again.

haha, today was mr. thompson's birfday (turned 29) and someone gave him a tiara in his 1st period. we convinced him to wear it but he took it off after a few seconds. it was really funny tho.

hmm... what's new about DBSK? well, jaejoong dyed his hear back to black. just saw a video of them winning ANOTHER award for mirotic, and jae looked so CUTE when he got a bouquet for winning. XD and junsu's on this tv show all by himself without the rest of the members. it's really funny cuz it keeps on getting awkward and junsu just keeps on laughing to make it go away. and i found out that micky, jaejoong, and yunho have all smoked before. i dont know if any are still smoking. i hope they all stopped. i dont want them to die earlier than possible because of smoking.

and i found these hilarious comics a while ago. :P

...i thought there was more... oh well :P they're pretty funny.

and a pic of jae looking adorably cute XD
gonna go now

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