Tuesday, November 11, 2008

the past, the now, and hopefully the future

wow, so many thoughts are rushing through my mind right now. i dont know what to say first cuz i'm scared that i'll forget everything else that i want to say. this happens alot; when i'm telling you, or when i just... think.

well, firstly, i'll just start here: it's veteran's day. didnt have to go to school today (yay! got to sleep in!). i have 2 projects due - one this friday, the other next thursday - so i worked on that for a couple of hours. after doing all of that, i've been free to do whatever i wanted which has been a first for me in a while.

i mean, yeah, i goof off on fridays and saturdays and start working on school stuff on sunday, but it's different (somehow) since this is a school day. either way, i'm really glad that we got to have a day off today (does taylor county have today off, too?). i really needed it. and i'm gonna be even gladder on friday next week cuz that's the start of thanksgiving holidays!

anyways, the point of mentioning this: i've finally got free time, and since i've basically done everything that i wanted/needed to do, i've had time to actually THINK. something i dont do much. half the time is cuz i dont have the time, and the other half is cuz i... just dont want to think. i dont want to remember things and ask myself questions that i dont have any answers to.

i saw two other people's blogs and they're totally different from what i did on mine. they didnt exactly put personal stuff like i've done and stuff. and i looked at my profile page and it said that i have 87 profile views. now i know that it doesnt mean that that many people actually LOOKED at my blog, but some have got to. i know that at least one person did, they actually left a comment.

but anyways (i say that alot, dont i? :P) i dunno, it made me think about if it's really a good idea to even post what i do on here? or if i should make this private instead of public. i know the reason why i made this public in the first place though; i'm not afraid to admit it on here where i dont know anyone and they dont know me.

i made it public cuz i was hoping that maybe i could make a friend on here. that on some crazy chance, someone could read this and leave a comment and sooner or later, become friends. because that's something i've always wanted. to have a friend from somewhere far away who doesnt know me so i could tell all of these things to them. i've always wanted a penpal or someone on the internet to talk to ever since i read the year of secret assignments. it sounds totally cool. but, i guess i wont be able to make one. :(

secondly: my sucky, boring life. as you've prolly figured by now, my life's boring. i'm boring. nothing happens. i have no stories to tell except for the one's from my imagination. it's the truth.

that's why i want a friend who've i've never met. so i can tell them about my life and get a responce back. i know that i have best friends, but i know that we're not exactly that close anymore. how can we be? i've moved. so i dont think that i could ever tell them what i tell you.

and michelle and i are really close, but there's only so much i of what i think and feel that i can put into words. and i've already kinda told her this before, and her advice was good, but it's not me. i couldnt do it. sometimes, it's better to not get family involved.

honestly, i dont know how to make friends like i did in taylor. i'm one of the quiet people who listens to other people's stories. i'm a wallflower. and when i occasionally get hyper, then i act random and crazy. something that's only happened once at the new school and it only lasted for a couple of minutes in math.

i have no life; i dont know what i'd do if i never discovered DBSK. i've been a fan of theirs for around 3 months and i've watched almost all of the vids that they're in on youtube. i know ALOT of things about every member, and i bet that if i actually tried, i could learn the lyrics to a couple of their songs. thanks to them, i made it through the first month of school with songs like proud and watching hilarious vids of them to cheer me up and keep me going.

growing up, at school, you always get asked questions like, what do you want to be when you grow up? and who is your role model? well, i still dont know what i want to do in the future, but i can finally say that DBSK are my role models. even when they wanted to give up, they didnt, and now, they're all the way at the top.

i was looking at my blog earlier, and i realized that i've almost had it for a whole year. i wanted to know the exact date that i started it, so i went all the way back to my first post in january. i ended up reading all 4 posts that i made in that month, and wow, life was so much more simpler back then. no where as hard as it is now. i wonder if i've grown mentally because of moving.

i wonder how long i'll post on here? all the way through high school to college? next year (i doubt it)? either way, i want to look back on here one day in the future, and read every post that i've ever made. it was nostalgic just reading the first posts on here but it made me happy. because, you know, i have a bad memory and stuff, so i'll forget alot. i'm glad that i'll remember what happened in the past on here.

you know, the maximum i've ever posted a month has been 4? i have a feeling that since i dont really like all of these reaalllllyyyy long posts, the max is gonna eventually change. but i dunno, since it all depends on if i have free time or not.

and thirdly: my birthday party last saturday.

lately, parties always surprise me (not that i've been to alot lately). at my party, i got to see old friends whom i've met at other parties, i saw my old crush's older brother (they look so alike, i thought that it was him until tony told me it wasnt), embarressed myself alot, played a song on the guitar that i learned in a couple of hours, and recieved alot of money (twice as much as i expected).

but yeah, some people from the last party we went to (johnson or nixon's graduation party over the summer) came; johnson and nixon, too. we actually got along pretty well and hung out in my room most of the time.

so, i didnt get any presents. instead, everyone gave me money, and everytime, mommy would make me say thank you in viet to them. everytime i said it, they'd laugh at me! and i dont get why either!

but that wasnt the only embarressing thing, tho. my aunt kimberly who's not really my aunt (known her and her family since forever so they're practically family) found out that i'm learning how to play the guitar and kinda forced me into playing happy birthday on the guitar for her later. problem was that i didnt know how, so i had to go on the internet and find some tabs for it and learn it quickly. luckily, i found some tabs for playing it on one string cuz i could NOT understand the other tabs that required more than one string (still a beginnier who doesnt study :P). so i practiced inbetween going downstairs and thanking people.

i spent around 1-2 hours mastering it. but i think tony did it better than i did and he's never played the guitar before. he plays the violen, though.

before i had to cut my cake, i was forced to play happy birthday for everyone to hear which sounded impossible cuz it was so loud. johnson and vinh tried to get the karioke mic to work so that everyone could hear it since it was so loud, but it didnt work.

in the end, after i started playing the 2nd time (messed up on the 1st), it got really quiet so everyone heard me playing. when i finished, everyone started clapping and i was shocked cuz all of a sudden, i noticed that all of the adults and people had formed this big circle around me in the living room. i thought that no one would be able to hear my performance but i was wrong.

and then i got to cut the first chunk out of my cake. ice cream cake! and then i let shelle cut the rest for me cuz i had to pass it around to everyone. i figured that we'd have at least a third or fourth of the cake left, but dood, there was only a small chunk a little bit bigger than an inch left in the end! but it was really good. XD

the party didnt really get started until around 6 and by 10, almost everyone left already. it was really short compared to the ones we usually go to. but almost everyone we came were chicken farmers, so they prolly have to go back to their work.

but, by the end of the night o (or early morning, i forgot), i finished making my first video. :D i found out that i have windows movie maker on my laptop and i wanted to try it out. it's pretty easy once you get used to it. i just need to find out if i can cut clips and audios from the beginning (not only the ends) or else i'm gonna start looking for a new movie maker.

but i made the movie with the pics and clips that i took of my group of idiot friends the first (and only so far) time they all came over to my house. i couldnt really find a song to go with it, but i think the song that i chose goes kinda well with it. i'm still debating on if i should upload it on youtube (so i can show it to them) but i dunno since the new laws saying that you cant put videos of other people without their permission...

i'm gonna go now. worse than last time, this post took 2 hours to do. and no pictures =3=

well... one pic!

pointy.star :P

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