Wednesday, August 6, 2008

first week of new school

i was gonna tell you earlier but the computer was being hogged all week or something else was blocking me from telling you.

so i'll tell you from the beginning. on monday (first day of skool, duh. apparently, this year, they didnt let us have the first day of skool on Aug. 1st which was a friday, like usual), it was kinda depressing since in all of my classes (honors in everything), the only thing that the teachers did was explain to us everything on their sylubus. and so i didnt get to talk to anybody in class so i couldnt exactly make any friends. that is, until lunch when i made friends with moheenee (dunno how it's spelled). she's indian and she's new, too. i knew that we wouldnt be the best of friends since what we mostly did was small talk but it was nice to not have to spend lunch alone. but that was the prolly the only time i'll ever eat lunch with her for the whole year since at that lunch period, it was 3rd period lunch, and for the rest of the year, i'd be eating lunch at 4th period, the last of the day. anyways, that was the only friend that i made that day.

oh yeah, i guess i'll tell you my schedule.
1st american government/civics
2nd literature
3rd tech theater
4th health (4th period lunch afterwards)
5th accelerated math
6th biology
and connections (homeroom once or twice a month)

so onto tuesday, that was the best day of skool so far. on monday after school, we went to books a million cuz shelle wanted me to pick up breaking dawn for her (still havent read it yet!) and i ended up stayin there for a while cuz daddy had to go to home depot to pick something up. and so i sat in one of the chairs and started reading and then this guy and his younger sister and brother and then dad, came and sat at the other chairs. i had to leave a few minutes later, but on tuesday, i found out that the guy at BAM was in my first period class. and in my first 3 classes, we did these different games to get to know everyone in the class. it was really fun and this girl in my first period class, nicole, likes manga and anime, too. the rest of the periods were okay.

today, wasnt that great. i'm stupid in social studies and my partner prolly is wondering why i'm in the honors class for it, too. i think tech theater is starting to be my favorite class. prolly cuz it's not really an academic class and cuz the teacher is pretty cool. but i really dont like not having any real friends there. in any of my classes. i miss my idiot friends at taylor county. at least everyone in my homeroom knew how i was so i could be myself and i'd KNOW people. unlike here where its so big and in every class, i have totally different people and hardly any of the same people from the same classes that i've had. i really doubt that i'm gonna make any real friends here. i really thought that i'd be okay as a loner but i'm not. i feel isolated when we get to talk to our friends when we have free time in class. i feel self-conscious when i'm alone and have nothing to do, and i dont like it. i'm starting to worry about what collage is gonna be like.

man, i feel like how i did after the first day of school. slightly depressed and deeply disappointed. maybe it's cuz i thought that since yesterday was pretty good, that today would be too, but it wasnt. i dunno, but i think i'm startin to get why people hate high school.

ARGH!!! i wish that i was still in middle school!! i wish that i could stay younger forever! i dunno if i told you this before, but, i always told myself when i was younger and still in middle school, that i didnt have to think of what i wanted to be in the future. cuz i always knew that i'd prolly change it. so i told myself, that i'd think about it when i'm a senior or junior, cuz that's when it really matters. i never thought that high school would be like this. i didnt think that i'd be moving and goin to a whole new high school. i was just opening up at taylor county, and now, i'm closed up all over again.

i'm gonna go, i'm drained.

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