Friday, April 3, 2009


yesterday, i felt like yelling all day. i had this urge, more like need, to scream that just kept on growing stronger and stronger as the hours ticked on after i got home from school. it felt like if i didnt scream, i was gonna explode.

but i never did. it started disappearing after i ate dinner and told shelle about my need. she told me that i should just do it, but for some reason, i couldnt. the only reason that i could think of was that mommy was home. if she heard it, she'd come up and see what's wrong and/or start telling everyone on the phone that her daugher is crazy. i'd rather not have to deal with that, too.

sometimes, i wish that i didnt have this habit of telling at least one person what's on my mind. i ALWAYS have to tell someone what's goin on with me, and i'm really hating it right now. i'd like to say that it runs in the family, cuz it sure seems like it, but that doesnt mean anything and i hate it. it makes me wonder if i can really keep secrets; if people even trust me with their secrets.

i dont think before i speak so i end up talking for a second and then stopping while my brain starts catching up with my mouth on figuring how to finish the sentence, and i just seem stupid. i blurt things out before thinking anything through and it's just embarrassing, some of the things i say cuz sometimes, it's not even me that they're talking to.

anyways, i think the main reason why i felt the need to scream was because spring break's almost here and the teachers gotta give us a test before the break so we dont forget everything. i had/have at least one test everyday this week (3 tomorrow that i REALLY should be studying for), a script to write, pages to read, and an outline to also write. and other stuff, too, and i think that it was finally getting to me cuz i really need to bring my math grade up and my science grade is dropping and i just dont have enough time to do everything that i wanna do and it's just all irritating when i stop to think about it, and that seems impossible.

man, i really needed to get that out :P

today wasnt as bad, tho. i didnt feel the need to scream when i prolly should since i've got 3 (did i already say that :P) BIG tests tomorrow, i should have been finishing up the script and also working on the blogging project so i dont hafta do it during the break (goin to grandma's for spring break, cant wait to see everyone! :D) and rough draft for my paper. jeez, most of my problems are coming from lit, the class where i usually have the least amount of work - next to tech theater.

but it's been raining and sprinkling on and off all day and finally thundering and lightening for a bit earlier before i took a shower. it was raining so much at school tho, there's these HUGE, practically lakes, of water outside that some people were joking about going fishing in them. i said that we should go out there swimming :D

even tho it's only been a few days since my last post, i have EVEN MORE stuff to spazz about XD this post cant only be about angstyretardedness :P


these pics of donghae are just love XP the first one's so cute and the second one is amazing, it captures his spacey look that he's known for perfectly :D and the last one is something that i think only donghae (and maybe jaejoong, too XP) can pull off, looking hot and cute at the same time XD

and i saw some pics of SuJu at an airport and i had to save this pic of heechul. it's so him XD i mean, just look at his face
XP and shiwon looks like a cute prep :D

and when i saw this pic, i was all speechless and *gasp!* "is that KIBUM?!" -__-

and i saw these doll versions of SuJu and i HAD to save them all, too ^^" they're AMAZING >__<

and shelle and i were looking at some pics of them at the same site as the dolls and were making up stories for each pic, usually involving our fav couples and why they're all over the other members instead of each other XD

and then there's this clip of donghae and heechul backstage with SNSD at music bank and they're totally adorkable :3

and shelle has been obsessed with SHINee lately, which means that i'm gonna be getting to know them pretty well, too :P

they're also from SM (jeez, it seems like we only like their artists XD), they're really young compared to the other artists. they're youngest member, taemin, is only a few months older than me. there's five members, they debuted last year, one of their most known song is noona is so pretty, and they're balloon color is pearlicent (however you spell it) blue (remember, SuJu's is sapphire blue). there's only so much colors a balloon can be :P

anyways, i'll talk more about them when i get to know about them more, prolly after spring break, and when i get the chance. right now, it's almost 11 and i really should be goin to bed.


No comments:

Post a Comment