within an hour, i've become...

obsessed and fangirling all over again. XP i'll get to that in a minute, though. need to say some other stuff first before i go fangirl on ya. :P

it is now 4:28 AM. lately, i've been waking up around 2-4 in the morning and going back to sleep half an hour later. this morning, i woke up at 3 and i couldnt go back to sleep, and i started thinking. and the stuff that i was thinking of, i wanted to put on here or else i'd never remember to do it the next time i wake up. but i made the mistake of reading some recent blog entries that i missed yesterday from the blogs that i've been watching/subscribing to which are all about DBSK, and now, i cant believe it!

so before i tell you this awesome news, let me tell you about the stuff that was thinking about earlier BEFORE i read any posts. and here i thought that it'd be a short-ish post. :P

dood! i found out that sophia used to live in england! no wonder her british accent was really good! but yeah, she lived there at one of the american bases cuz of her parent's jobs.

half of the people in my 1st period class have parents who workd at the base in warner robins which would explain why so many kids at the skool have lived in other countries before (i just now realized), and here i thought it was because everyone was rich or something. no one in my math class has been to austrilia before, though.

stairs are evil. i was going up the first flight of stairs to math when right in the middle of the thing, i think my right foot didnt step on the step all the way, so i slipped. luckily, the place was pretty empty with only one person in front and hehind me, so if i fell, not alot of people would of gotten hurt. BUT! i didnt fall, i just dropped my books in shock. and the dood in front of me picked up my binder for me and asked me if i was okay. some people are really nice. :D and i'm a klutz.

and i realized something very important on that same day (tuesday) in math. i realized it when i was talking to monica and she agreed with me 100%. the super important, very valuable lesson in life is this: skittles are meant to be shared. especially if you're one of the people who dont have any. :P

my math class is flippin AWESOME! we're her 5th period so by then, she knows if some of the works she gives the earlier classes are useless or not, so she doesnt bother using it with us. and, we're her advanced math class so while it takes 25 minutes for some classes to learn something, we learn it in 10, and she doesnt want us to get too far ahead, so she lets us do whatever we want for the remainder of the period. which means goofing off.

yesterday, we finished our stuff quickly and stuffs so we had 30 minutes to do whatever, so we asked her if we could in the corner of her room where we sat at the last time we had a free day, and she agreed. half of the girls in the class (we're the cool ones. the other girls who didnt join, are the preps who dont have a sense of our awesome humor :P) made this lumpy circle together and we told funny stories about funny stuff that they did in movie theaters, played telephone, sophia showed us the russian laugh (i friggin DIED from laughing so hard when ashliegh did it in a high pitch version of it and mrs. kirk gave our group a weird look), and sophia told us that we were gonna be power rangers so we had to claim our colors quick. i was the blue ranger of course. XD

man, sophia's right. our class would be totally boring if she wasnt there.

taylor got a haircut over the weekend, and when dawn saw it in 6th period on monday, she said this: "aww. taylor, you look so cute! you look like dora the explorer." we busted out laughing at that cuz we just then realized that it WAS true. she did look like dora , and i was also laughing cuz of the way dawn had said it. she was being completely honest and sincere.

and on wednesday, we had a fire drill during 6th period and we were supposed to stand with our class outside. jamie, megan, dawn, me and a couple of people couldnt find the rest of our class, s we were starting to list everyone that we couldnt find. when someone said taylor, jamie said, "right. has anyone seen dora?" :D

here are some icons that i found yesterday on photobucket when i should of been looking for something else. :P it's alot now that i think about it. but i did find them all from over 30 pages...



i think corey's gonna ask me out sooner or later. i really hope that i'm wrong, altho all of the arrows are pointing towards it. cuz, on myspace, i was asking him if we were gonna get club t-shirts or not, and he replied something along the lines of "yeah, you so wanna go out with me. i cant help it that i'm so good looking." something like that, i'm too lazy to go on myspace to get it word for word for you. but yeah, where did THAT come from a question about club t-shirts? O.o

and he sent me another message asking me if i had a boyfriend or not cuz "the thought just crossed his mind" or soemthing like that. again, too lazy to get. :P i told him no and that i havent been interested in anybody lately (except for jaejoongie of course, but i didnt tell him that XD). i hope he gets the hint before things get even weirder.

but seriously, how can he like me if he doesnt even know anything about me other than the fact that i like anime and manga? how can people like someone when they barely even know them. wait, that's a stupid question. i mean, in all of those stories, there's always that love at first sight stuff and similar things, too.

did i like marvin without knowing about him? i definitely know that i didnt like him at first sight, i just saw him like i saw everyone else at the party. and then i started crushing on him after the party was over and i couldnt get him out of my head. arent all crushes supposed to be like that? where you cant stop thinking about someone? that's what i thought it was and i havent had those feelings for anyone else yet, which is why i dont think i like anyone (except jaejoong, but it's not really a crush since i'll never be able to meet him. what i have for jae is not a crush, more like a fangir love XD). but anyways, i started liking marvin AFTER i got to know him from his funny stories now that i think about it.

my health teacher told my class this once. the first time you get high is supposed to be amazing and stuff, which is why you get high again and again, trying to have the same experience as the first time. are crushes like that, too? like the saying goes, you never forget your first love. isnt it the same for your first crush?

i dont think so. something in my gut is telling me that it's gonna happen again and again when i meet the right guy. so i guess i just havent met anyone yet who i can crush on.

okay, now that i've gotten all of THAT offa my chest, onto the fangirling!! XD

check it out!!!

- after searching high and low for the most accurate information, we present to you the following news regarding FUSE TV's EXCELLENT ADVENTURE FEAT. DBSK

EVERY TUESDAY @ 11:30pm (eastern time)
*SEE MAP OF NATE'S ADVENTURES*
(click on each countries' button and read info ^^)

Ep.01 - Bolkow Castle Party, Poland 10/07/08 *aired*
Ep.02 - Gnawa Music Festival, Morocco 10/14/08 *aired*
Ep.03 - Sumfest, Jamaica 10/21/08 *aired*

Ep.04 - Waken Open Air Festival, Germany 10/28/08
Ep.05 - Rockness Festival, Scotland 11/05/08
Ep.06 - Ibiza, Spain 11/12/08
Ep.07 - Ganesh Music Festival, India 11/19/08
EP.08 - ASIAN SONG FESTIVAL, KOREA 11/26/08

credit: usaeve@Soompi

and i can watch fuse on DirecTV channel 339! i need to find out if we have that channel later... but i still wont be able to watch it, it's gonne be on a school night starting at 11:30. i'm going to hope that someone very kind and nice in the US will have upload it on youtube very soon.

but oh my gosh! DBSK is gonna be on there! i think. cuz i saw a post saying that nate got to interview them and some Cassiopeians (their official korean fan base name) and some other stuff. but yeah, i really wanna see what other bands are gonna be on it too!

but yeah, that was the main thing i was fangirling about although it's taking place in a month form now. :D

oh! and because of this!


i'm guessing that it's a recent poll thingie since it does say 2008 on it. it says to join and vote for your fav band and stuff, as of yesterday, they stopped cuz they didnt want an influx of registers who are creating double accounts and stuff, which really sucks cuz that's the only online voting place for stuff like this in english.

but, DBSK is doing pretty good. they got number 1 in i think 4 of the categories! i cant believe that they're in 6th place in america though! wait, it says americaS, so is it counting both north and south america? and all of the poll lines are even now that i look at it... so weird. i guess i'll just hafta wait to find out what happens next. :P

and now for some news about my favorite member of DBSK, TVXQ, Tohoshinki, TVFXQ, DBSG, and all of their other names: jaejoong. XD i ilked him when i first saw him (korean version of rising sun thanks to emily), and i loved him when i got to know him. on variety shows and other tv shows of course, i'd be in heaven if i could actually talk to him in person. >w<

so anyways, he's been cast as the male lead of a new movie called Heaven's Postal Delivery Man where he will act as a messenger between the dead (who are in heaven) and their family and friends (who are still living). His character is very deep and mysterious (that kinda sounds like him at times already :P).

the female lead is Han Hyo Joo and her character will eventually fall in love with jae's character, and THERE"S A KISSING SCENE!!!

i dont hate the actress like some fans do since i kind of find it stupid to hate an actor or actress for kissing your favorite celebrity and stuff along those lines. as long as it's just for the show or movie and NOTHING ELSE, then i'm fine. :P

anyways, the movie is gonna be minisodes like in DBSK's movie vacation (this is jae's first time acting without any other members in it!). they're gonna start filming next month and it's planned to out in may of next year. so i'm gonna be sitting on the edge of my seat in may, waiting for subs to be out. XD

hmm... i've decided to make this really long post purple. :P

it's 6 already. dang, i spent an hour and a half on this.


pointy.star

stuffs

i will never hear shake it by metro station, the same ever again. last friday, we had a prep rally (we always have one when we're up against warner robins since they're our big rival altho we always lose to them) and they were saying that a couple of warner robin's cheerleaders came to our school and claimed that they had more spirit than we did.

when the "cheerleaders" came out, it was 4 doods in wife beaters that said go warner robins! and in short skirts with skin tight shorts underneath. and when shake it came on, they did this crazy dance thingy and other retarded stuff. but yeah, now i cant listen to shake it without pictures of guys in skirts shaking their butts popping into my head. not a pretty picture.

my english teacher, mr. thompson, is pretty cool. last friday, he had all of the desks in his room pushed back against the wall and the chairs arranged in a circle in his classroom. he never exactly told us why he did it (altho we never bothered to ask either). near the last 30 minutes of class, he told us that he needed to do some work at his desk so we could read the assigned pages that he gave us for lord of the flies so we wouldnt have alot of homework over the weekend or just do something quietly. he didnt care if we were sitting in our chairs or on the floor.

15 minutes later, we found sabrina asleep on top of her book laying on the floor. when austin pointed that out to mr. thompson, he whispered to us to quietly get our stuff and go out the door. he was a couple of steps near the door when sabrina woke up and everyone let out a disappointed sigh whle she looked at mr. thompson confused. after we all settled down, mr. rhompson told us that he did this to a kid last year and the kid thought that school was over since no one was there. in their rush to leave, they tripped and fell over. i cant believe that he actually did that to a kid.

so yeah, fall break's been over for a while now. it passed by really quick even though i didnt really even do anything. but it was a good thing we had a break cuz i really needed it. i got to catch up with myself and relax. so it was all good. :D

i just realized when i was taking a shower earlier, that, a month from now, twilight the movie's gonna be out. and in 2 weeks, i turn 15. and that's when the presidential elections are gonna take place too. sorry, stupid essay that i gotta write for lit just reminded me of that.

and to get my mind offa that, here's some funny icons that i found.


i dont really remember where i found any of those icons... but they're pretty awesome :P

i feel like i have alot to say, but i just cant think of what to say. does that even make sense? ever since fall break, i've been feeling like this. it's that indiscribable feeling that i had when i first had to live at the new house when we didnt have internet to keep me preoccupied. or something like that.

and i forgot to tell you. daddy's brother and his family finally became naturalized citizens (thank you civics, i would of never known how to say this without sounding like a retard, if you never taught us this) last thursday. on last tuesday or monday, mommy and daddy finalized the deal and bought another house in the neighborhood for them. yeah, they bought another HOUSE. where the heck did we get all of this money?! but yeah, it only takes a minutes walk to get to their house.

now for some DBSK talk and stuffid since you're the only one i CAN talk to besides shelle. i never did tell you about their newest album called mirotic. it's their own original word that jaejoongie made. he took miro, which means spell in korean, and added tic from english together which made mirotic. they said that they called their album that cuz when you listened to it, it puts a spell on you. their new image was mature and sexy, and man do they look hot! XD so yeah, listening and watching them sing and dance to their new songs, who wouldnt be under their spell?

this one is their korean album cover

and this is their japan album cover

i think i'll go now. i spent most of my time getting distracted while doing this post. :P


pointy.star

it's almost true in all aspects!

Which dbsk member are you? Your Result: Max Changmin Max Changmin? Well, lets see... You're shy when meeting new people and you're a genius. But just because you're shy, doesnt mean you can't be mischevious. In your kinds of relationships, you take it seriously but have fun at the same time. You like to have fun a lot and tend to follow what the older people around you do. You're slim as well, but have a big appetite. In fact, you have such a big appetite you eat at the night almost everyday. Other languages facsinate you except the one you speak fluently. You also have manners too. Either way, you're a Max Changmin!! YAY!
Xiah Junsu
Hero JaeJoong
Micky Yoochun
U-know Yuhno
Which dbsk member are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

like i said, it's almost all true. except i dont consider myself as a genius and i'm definitively not slim, but i do like to eat. :P and i definitively want to learn alot of different languages (mainly japanese and korean), so ya, languages other than the one i speak really do fasinate me. XD


onto other news about my life lately since i feel like i tell haley more about what's been happening with me more than i tell you.

guess what i ate this morning?! a GIANT MUFFIN!! one of my parents friends gave us some giant muffins the other day. they're as big as my hand! and they're really good. XD i wanted to take a pic of it so i could always remember the giant muffin, but shelle has the camera. i think...

we played some really funny games today in tech theater. the first game, i forgot what it was called, you had to sit around in a circle and someone would start it off and ask someone else a question. you can only ask people questions so the next person would point to someone else and ask them a question. if you laugh, pause for too long, or start answering the question, then you were out. the point of the game was about improvising cuz you really need to know how to do that in the theater. the game rememinded me of all of those word games our group used to play during lunch and PE last year and the year before that.

it was really funny cuz half of the questions were so random and off the wall. mike kept on asking the weridest ones of all. he asked stuff like, "how much purple can you eat?", "where do boogers come from?", and "how long does it take for a pig to fly?". mainly, he would ask questions that involved colors in it (usually purple), that in the end, mrs. jardin said that she made up a new rule: no more questions that involved purple. mike made a face and said that she just took away his next question.

and the next game we played was called assassin, but mrs. jardin said that she didnt really like to be playing games that involved the use of such words in a school. after she told us how to play, i came up with a new name for it: player. ya see, the assassin is supposed to wink at people (still sitting in a circle) and they were supposed to die a little while later. the point of the game was to figure out who the assassin was. and i thought that player could be a suitable name for it instead of assassin cuz the player is a pimp, and every time they wink at someone, that person faints cuz they're so much in love. :P

and it is finally fall break!!

we'll be going to FL for i'm guessing until monday or tuesday, this weekend so i really need to start working on my persuasive essay for lit. but i REALLY dont like our topic. why does it have to be about politics?! why couldnt we persuade people about something else other than which person we think should be our next president?! i hate persuasive essays!! i'd rather write expository or narrative papers instead.

lately, i've been writing really long posts. i guess its cuz that's the only time i have or remember to write on here, so i tell you as much as i can. and i definately havent been posting any pics up at all... i'll hafta fix that.

here's some pics of DBSK (since i'm so obsessed XD) that i like.

ahh!!! i love their converses!!! XD

i so want some of their pocky!!

jae looks so cute >w<

i'm prolly gonna add a couple of pics to some of the older posts cuz i feel like it. :P

oh yeah, haley made a blog a couple of weeks ago. we were at christina's house for our guitar lessons and she made one on my laptop. i got to write her 1st post for her cuz she didnt really know what to write and was pretty slow with typing. it was really funny, i kept on writing stuff that made her seem really overdramatic and stuff. she kept on tryin to steal my laptop away to erase everything that i wrote, but i wouldnt let her. and she got on the library's computer and posted another post a week ago, and i knew that she wouldnt delete my first post like she said that she would. i was so right. XP

i'll see ya later


pointy.star

fall break tomorrow!

i cant wait!!! i'm so tired of having to take last minute tests since we'll be out til next wednesday. yeah, fall break officially starts after school tomorrow and ends on the 14th (which ends on tuesday), so we hafta come back next wednesday. it's pretty stupid. why cant we just get out on friday like other schools do and come back on monday instead of wednesday if it's gonna be the same amount of off days?

krista called a few hours ago. i havent talked to her in ages. we didnt get to talk for long, but it made me realize how much we needed to catch up on and how much i miss everyone.

from what haley told me, it seems like our group is slowly falling apart. i wondered about it yesterday, would everyone be like this if i hadnt moved? i mean, from my schedule, i only had half of my classes with everyone at the same time, so would i have had to make new friends in my other classes like i have to now? would haley be close friends with bobby and all of those ppl on the bus if i hadnt moved since we hardly ever talked to anyone else on the bus when i was on? would haley have chosen to join band if i was still there? would kelly still follow lindsey around as much as haley said that she is, if i wasnt there? would haley and kyle have become best friends if i wasnt there since they both confided in me when i was? would krista be as what haley said that she is, if i was never there?

would i have made new friends in my classes without my friends or would i act like how i do here at HOCO? they're all selfish thoughts but i cant help but wonder "what if". i finally understand what shelle was talking about when she said that she always wondered "what if" when she moved from pulaski to taylor.

school is okay. i still havent made any real friends but i'm not letting my hopes up and i think that i wont make any this year. or any year when i really think about it. i'm just awkward like that. i dont even know how i became friends with haley and krista in 6th grade. and that was in middle school where we had the same classes everyday. in high school, you barely have the same people more than twice. all of my classes are interesting (as in there are some funny people in there) so it's enough for me. i just really hate it when you have to do a project with a partner of your choice. and lunch isnt that great either. that's really the only time when i really hate not living in Taylor (or Trailer County as krista calls it :P).

class was pretty funny in science today. our class was getting off topic again and mrs. edger said that this was the reason why our honors class is the only honors class in biology with the class average of a C. taylor didnt hear what she said so she asked if she could repeat it and after mrs. egder repeated it, taylor said "what?" and a 3rd of our class shouted what mrs. egder said at her together. it was really funny cuz no one was expecting that to happen and taylor STILL didnt get it.

jamie and luke were asking her how did she even get into honors and taylor said that she got in cuz she's smart. then megan and mrs. edger said that she just lacks in common sense and that got us all cracking up again.

and then, near the end of class, josh was trying to explain to alex what they meant in forest gump when they said that life is like a box of chocolate, but since alex didnt get it, josh gave up and told mrs. edger to explain it to him. so she was telling alex that life has lots of different experiences and stuff like there's lots of different kinds of chocolate in a box of chocolates. taylor, who was watching them, asked alex if he was even listening cuz he looked kinda out there. he shook his heasd and said nol. then he goes and says that if he had a box of chocolate, he'd eat it or something like that. he's so weird. :P

a funny pic i found a while ago

betty sent me this pic XD havent talked to her in a long time

oh! last weekend, jessica (from Taylor) had a last minute invitation to go to the movies with her and her best friend jessica (senior, 17). but in the end, i couldnt go cuz they had to go home early and mommy wasnt home to drive me to the mall so we said that we'd do it another time when we really plan things out in advance. but mommy took me and shelle to the movies and we saw nick and norah's infinite playlist. it was pretty funny. the characters and storyline altogether reminded me of juno.

DBSK's newest album came out!! i downloaded all of the songs! XD i really like afterglow and flower lady and especially you're my melody. i'm finally getting used to micky's new hair. you have to agree, only he could pull off that type of haircut. :P i found out from watching a video on youtube of them on a radio show recently, that micky wanted a different haircut at first but the hairstylest said that a member of super junior was going to get that cut. so he got something completely unique. it's so him :P i've noticed that he's usually the one who has the most different type of hairstyle. and changmin looks really mature with his new haircut.

dood, DBSK is getting famous in south america (they were mentioned on a music tv show about their lastest album) and mexico (a magazine talkin about their lastest album and it said something like mexico was ready for DBSK over there). can you believe it?! i was so surprised to hear about those two since they were nonasian countries. really, if this keeps up, DBSK will really be taking over the world of music. XD i'm just hoping that some music show in the US will mention DBSK, too.

that's all for now


pointy.star

my lastest revelation and other stuffs

so, two weeks ago, i finally started learning how to play the guitar. it was on sunday. we went to books a million and i bought guitar for dummies and then we went over to christina's house to stay there until mommy was finished working at daddy's place. turns out, that we'll be goin over there almost every sunday. but ya, mommy said that i could bring haley over and i told her to bring her guitar with her so that we could learn from my book together. but mr. sir was there and he knows how to play guitar proffessionally (he tuned mine and haley's guitar), so he offered to teach us. it was hard at first to get my fingers to push down on the strings hard enough, but i'm getting used to it. so ya, we're gonna learn how to play the guitar with him every sunday when we can.

i finally got my new laptop yesterday. mommy realized that i was going to need a laptop ALOT for school and stuff and she needed to get on it too for callin ppl and stuff, and that we couldnt exactly share my old laptop, so she said that i could get myself a new one. it's exactly the same as shelle's laptop but it's a newer version so it has some other stuff to it and the front of my laptop has a different cover. it's white-ish blue-ish with clouds or waves. i'll take a pic of it when i get the camera.

i'm still not used to having the numbers on the right side of the keyboard like my old laptop and i have to download all of my songs and everything onto itunes again and that is nearly impossible. hopefully, i'll be able to get all of the songs that i downloaded on limewire on my old laptop and put it on here. shelle explained it to me once, but i forgot. so if i cant, she can do it on the weekend.

i REALLY dont like transferring all of my stuff from my old laptop to the new one. it's like moving all over again. only easier (minus the itunes thing). i'm not done transferring everything yet, though. it's gonna take some time.

the anime con was last weekend. i couldnt believe it. i thought that we'd still have some time before it took place even though i already told haley and krista that goin this year was pretty much impossible. but still, it was like a slap to the face when shelle told me that it was happening right then.

the anime manga club watched ghost in the shell the laughing man (movie) this monday after skool. i only got to watch the first 30 minutes cuz i didnt know that we'd be watching anime so soon and they didnt give us any warnings, so i had told mommy to pick me up at 3:30 like usual. but yeah, they said that they'd give us a weeks warning next time that we did this.

about DBSK, i'm falling in love with junsu cuz of his super CUTE smile and adorably unique laugh. but jaejoong's still my favorite. it just seems that changmin is being replaced as third cuz it feels like junsu's my second favorite now. but i'm likin micky, too. he's funny (changmin, too) and when he laughs at something really funny, he practically dies from it and changmin, too. so i guess those 2 are tied for 3rd. but i like yuhno the least. he's always so serious. prolly cuz he's the leader and he has the responsibility, though. but i DO like him; just not as much as i like the others. :P

junsu and the little version of junsu are so CUTE!! >w<

jaejoongie looking awesome XD

and their new album is coming out on the 24th of this month! cant wait to hear it! their album's called mirotic. i forgot what it means... oh yeah! miro in korean means spell and tic was just an english word/ending that they added in the end because the album's music really does keep you in a spell. you cant stop listening to it. jaejoong was the one who came up with the name. :D

i think it's time to stop being a fangirl now. on to the next subject!

oh. this next one isnt very ...good news. here goes.

okay, there's this dood named michael in my science class. he's really smart in science (dont know about the rest of the subjects, this is my only class i have with him) and in the beginning of the year, he'd ask ridiculous questions about what we were learning, trying to be funny. a couple of weeks ago, we had to do this earthworm experiment in groups with at least one partner. i chose him cuz we kinda talked at the anime manga club at the first meeting. and a couple of days after that, we got to sit in any seat that we wanted and he sat with me (the seats are arranged so that 2 seats sit side by side right next to each other).

then, we started passing notes to each other (we sit right next to each other so all we had to do was slide the paper a little to the left or right) and he told me that his girlfriend cheated on him. and that she only went out with him out of pity. that the one person that he trusted, stabbed him in the back and twisted in. and he went out with her for 3 years. but that makes me think that she couldnt have gone out with him for 3 years all out of pity. but i still havent told him that yet; i keep forgetting.

and i asked him if he had any friends so that they could help him and stuff. but he said that he didnt have any at skool and all the rest were all over the world. and that he couldnt trust them or anyone for the matter. except for me. he said that i was his best friend at school a couple of days after that. but yeah, i told him that he should tell his friends about it cuz talkin to friends always help since he was in pain about the whole girlfriend thing, but he said that it wouldnt help and that he couldnt trust them.

and some time last week (i think), he got into an argument with this girl who was sitting behind us and when we started watching a video, he started running his pencil up and down his arm really hard. i started writing him a note while trying to be inconspicuous and asked him if he was really gonna go emo (some time ago, he said that he could go emo and i told him that i doubted it) for real. he said that he was getting there. and i asked him why. he said that he couldnt take it anymore. and then he asked if he should do a slow painful death or a short and painless one. and i asked him if he had anyone or anything that would hold him back from killing himself and he said no. he thought that he had his girlfriend, but now, no.

by now, i looked around the room and noticed that some people were sleeping and that the teacher saw it all and didnt care. so i gave up on trying to look like i was paying attention to the movie. i told him that he better come to skool on monday because i did not want to know that one of my friends killed themself and i couldnt do anything to stop it. he said that he was sorry and then the bell rang so i couldnt ask him about what. that he was going to kill himself or that he was just apologizing that he was being over dramatic.

come monday and he was fine. he told me that he was gonna try to do a different thing. he was going to change. to stop asking annoying questions in class and stuff. i told him that even though he's gonna change, dont become fake and he said that he was getting rid of all of his emotions of love, happiness, stuff like that until all that's left was rage and depression.

the other day, he told me that he needed a hug. i told him that i wasnt gonna give him one. i said that i was sick and that i didnt want to get him sick, too. a couple of days later, he said that i needed a hug. i told him, no, i dont. i dont understand him at all. and he wanted me to give him a high-five a whole bunch, too. i gave him light high-fives the 1st 2 times but after that, i just told him no. he quit askin for those but today, he asked if i still wasnt gonna give him a hug. why does he want a hug so much?!

normally, if it were anybody else, i'd give them a hug. but hugging michael is just something i dont want to do. i think half of my reason for not hugging him is because he's known as a weirdo with a reputation for being weird and stuff and i dont want to cause any misunderstandings for ppl to think that we're going out, and for me to also be associated with him, making ppl think that i'm weird, too. kinda mean, but that's one reason why i dont want to hug him. but yeah, ask me to hug a stranger and i prolly will do that before i hug michael.

i forgot if we wrote any notes other than that until today. today, he told me that he still felt alone. i told him that i wished that i could help (big mistake on my part) and he said that i could. i had this foreshadowing dread that i knew i shouldnt of said that last sentence, but i couldnt exactly tell him that no, i changed my mind. so i asked him how and he asked me if i wanted to go to the ROTC (army thing) ball with him.

i immediately knew that i didnt want to go, but it'd be mean to just say no, so i asked him when it was to think of an excuse. he said that it'd be later on in the year so i asked him if he could just ask me later but he said that it's being catered so they need to know now. i told him that i dont know if i can go and that i didnt want to get his hopes up and then let 'em crash and burn. and then he said/wrote (all of this is on notes) that he was really asking for something else and i already knew what he was talkin about in my mind, but i was hoping that i was HOPEFULLY misunderstanding what he was implying so i asked him what he was talking about now.

he said that he was asking me something else by asking me to go to the ball with him. so i finally asked him what i thought i was wrong about: are you asking me out? he said that he was. and i was confused. i told him that we barely knew each other. and then i told him, "honestly, i'm gonna have to turn you down. i dont know you enough. why do you want to go out with me, though?" cuz like i said, we barely know each other. and he said that it's because i was there for him and that i'm the only one who understands.

i told him that i'm pretty sure that if he told his friends, they'd understand too. and then he writes that i always know what to say (i find that hard to believe, half of the stuff that i told him as advice didnt seem like it helped at all), that i'm smart (i am not really smart, though, all i do is study the day before tests. i'm only book smart), pretty (i am NOT pretty. i am average. already discussed this with lindsey's letter and myself about me both academically and physically), and fun (how would he know this? i have not said anything that would make him laugh. i barely say anything at all).

and i told him that i think that he's still on the rebound and he didnt know what that meant so i had to explain it to him. and then he said that i remind him of his ex a little bit.

what's up with that?! do i remind guy's of their exes even if it's only "a little bit"?! i mean, kyle told me that too! altho it was with a girl that he was in love with who turned him down. but later, he realized that he didnt really like me like that. so am i a rebound girl or something?

but yeah, the bell rang and that was that.

i really should of seen this coming. i think that i did, though, just in a corner of my mind, i knew that something like this would happen between us. i just didnt dwell on it cuz it seemed conceited to think that he was being overfriendly-ish with me cuz he might like me.

but yeah, for a couple of days now, i've been thinking about myself and how ungrateful i am. i am selfish, spoiled, self-centered, ungrateful, and a whole lot of other things. here i am, complaining about how i need to buy new manga and dont have the money for it, when there are people all over the world who dont have the money to buy food. i'm complaining bout how mommy used to always tell us to eat and stuff just so that she could get on the computer when really, she doesnt want us to starve. i forgot that she used to live in vietnam and that maybe when she grew up there, her family might not have alot of food to eat like we do. especially since she has a much larger family than we do.

and i'm spoiled. i got a guitar and a laptop (stuff that i never said that i wanted but am now glad that i do have) and all of these other stuff that i cant live without now. when i need something like clothes or books, i usually end up getting them, from my parents or with my own money (which i get FROM my parents), and when i dont get what i want, i usually end up with a few tears altho nobody sees them.

and i realized that i AM really self-centered. i think about myself and my problems and needs before i think about anyone else's and sometimes, even then, i dont really care cuz IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. i only think about how somthing's gonna effect me and not really about anyone else until someone points it out.

i'm such a bad person. how can anyone like me. i dont deserve to have friends if this is how i really am. but i'm selfish enough to be glad that i do have some and i'm being honest about it, too. so that's a start, right?

i've been writing for almost an hour (i think.) i'm gonna go.


pointy.star

More letters to haley

September 11, 2008
More letters to haley

To let you know what’s been happening lately.

9-9-08
Guess what day it is! It’s Nerd Day! It’s homecoming week. Today’s Nerd Day, tomorrow’s Support Your Favorite Team Plus Hat Day (stupid), after that is Color Day or something like that. Freshmen wear white, sophomores wear gray (I think), juniors wear black, and seniors wear red. And on Friday, …I forgot. I’ll tell ya later the next time I’m in the hall.
Anyways, wow, so many people at school finally showed their true colors! They’re finally showing us how much they’re really nerds! And it’s hilarious. People are wearing: big glasses, sweater vests, different colored knee socks, suspenders, pants jacked up, someone even stuffed toilet paper into his shoe on purpose. I wish I had brought my camera, but I’m pretty sure that it’ll be in the yearbook.
And now, I have to go and study for my 27 amendments test, which is in 10 minutes.
I forgot to mention that the nerds are also wearing bow ties, taped glasses, and kick me signs taped to their back. It was really funny.
Jeez! Some people here are friggin rich or something! My friend Michael travels the world in the summer. He “borrowed” a sword that was stuck in the Great Wall of China! Yeah! He was actually there! And he traveled alone cuz he has friends who moved all over the world. He said that this year, he’s goin to japan. I’m frickin jealous! And he has a sword collection, too. He wont show me a picture of them, though, cuz he said that he didn’t want me to steal them after I told him that I was gonna sneak over to his house and take them.
Oh yeah, so I finally remembered what was on Friday. Friday is Spirit Day wher you’re supposed to wear the school’s colors black and silver. And on Saturday, we’re gonna have the Bear Ball where over 2,000 students can all dance in the lunchroom for a couple of hours. On a Saturday. LAME.
Dude! Death Note 2 is showing in theaters for 2 nights only! On October 15th and 16th. We could go see that even though you guys haven’t seen the 1st movie. It basically goes along with the manga and anime but you know, slightly different. It’s dubbed so that means no reading subtitles. Argh! But it’s on a wed and Thursday! Why cant it be on a frickin weekend?! Still think we could go? It starts at 7.
Gotta go, bell rang.


I just finished writing another letter to her but I’m too lazy to do it right now. Maybe later…

I’m really tired. I think I’ll go.


pointy.star

My letter to haley

Thursday, September 4, 2009

My letter to haley

Here’s a letter I just wrote to haley since I was stuck on my social studies project. I thought that this might give ya a little insight about what else been goin on and what I’ve been thinkin about.

So… I’m bored. And procrastinating like usual on my project. And since this is the first time in ages since I’ve last written to you, I thought that now would be a good time. :P it just so happens that I’m now working on a certain lame project instead…

Guess what? The interweb people came by today for a while! They said that we’ll finally have interweb tomorrow!!! Which is awesome cuz I have ANOTHER project to wrok on, too, that needs to use the interweb. No more bored outta my mind stuff, too!! XD

I found out that we could print stuff out at the school library for I think 30 cents a page. Not exactly sure, but maybe I could print some pics of stuff that I like on the interweb now? Oh! Then I could show you who I like from DBSK! Alright! Now I’ve gotta figure out how to do this!

o.O I just reread that paragraph. Wow… michelle was right. When I like things, I go all out. *sighs* I’m such an obsessive fangirl… :P

the other day, when I finally decided to unpack all of my boxes, I found all of these things that I’ve saved over the years that we did together. Do you remember the scrapebook that we started, I think, in 6^th grade? Man, I couldn’t stop laughing and feeling nostalgic (heh heh, I still remember mrs. Callier explaining the meaning of that word to us) when I saw all of the pictures that we took. Everyone looked so much younger. Evan looked like he was in 3^rd grade. :)

and I found a notebook that had some of the notes that we wrote to eachother in math and stuff. And I found my yearbooks that I couldn’t find! At, good times, good, times… cosmo, that idiot, he actually said something smart for once.

I really miss you guys.

It’s so ironic that while I was writing the last 3 paragraphs, sad songs kept playing. Right now, I’m Missing You is playing. How true.

Okay, I think that’s enough sadness for now! Oh! The funniest thing happened in English today! It went something like this:

I guess someone in the office left the speakers on on accident so the whole class heard someone talking in low voices.

Scott was asking if the noise came from the office.

Mr. Thompson heard that and said, “Alright scott, give me your phone.”

Scott got up and was walking towards him with his hand in his pocket.

When he was halfway there, mr. Thompson looked up and said, “I was only joking.”

Everyone started laughing when scott turned back around with an “oh” look of surprise on his face.

And then mr. Thompson said, “well, now that we know that you’ve got one… hand it over.”

So scott turned around AGAIN and mr. Thompson quickly said, “It was a joke,” when he realized that scott fell for it again.

While the whole class was laughing at him, he returned to his seat grumbling about how lame that joke was.

Hee, I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I mean, really, if anyone accuses you that you’ve got a phone, you’re suppose to deny it right away. The dummy.

Well, I gotta go and make an attempt on my project.

Miss ya lots,

Melissa

So yeah, that’s it for the letter.

I’ve been writing in here a lot lately, haven’t I? I mean, I wrote in here yesterday! prolly cuz I don’t have any internet or anyone to distract me anymore like I usually do.

Well, yeah, I’m gonna go now.

pointy.star

So flippin funny for some reason!

Wednesday, September 3, 2009
So flippin funny for some reason!


So, just a couple of minutes ago, I was over at vinh’s house to print out my document for English tomorrow and to use the internet for a while to finish my powerpoint that was also for English that’s due tomorrow. I was only over there for around an hour but the first half, I didn’t even get anything done since the computers were actin gay and wouldn’t work with each other. So finally, vinh got the wireless interweb to work and the whole time, his mom was yellin and saying all of these crazy things about how I needed to hurry up cuz vinh needed to finish his work and all of this stuff. And that he needed to use the interweb, too, and that he had a tutoring session in 3 hours. For some reason, I couldn’t help but laugh and try to hold back the laughs. I mean, here’s vinh, trying to explain to his mom that the interweb will work and stuff, and then there’s his mom who’s all up-tight and wants us to be gone so that he can focus on his work.

It’s just so funny. I mean, I thought that my parents were bad when it came to stuff like that, but they are SO NOT. Nowhere near like his mom, thank god. I mean, every 5 minutes when I was on my laptop workin, she would come in and watch for a while. When I finally finished and needed to print out my paper and when we were alone, I told him that I felt sorry for him. He said that she’s normally not like that. It only happens when guests come apparently. Either way, I feel sorry for him.

While it was printing, he was askin me if I was really gonna go to the talent show since he was in it (it’s a musical talent show that HOCO has, and he was one of the ten who got chosen). I told him that it depends on when it is. Cuz if it was the weekend, I would of brought shelle with me, but he said that it was on the 30th of this month. On a Tuesday. I told him that I prolly couldn’t since it was at 7 and I couldn’t bring shelle with me. I dunno, it’s a while from now so we’ll see. I asked him if he was gonna go to watch our skool’s play once upon a mattress since I was gonna help build the props. He didn’t really get to answer since his mom came in then and it finished printing.

We left a minute after it finished printing. But yeah, for some reason, I cant help but find it funny and laugh at the situation. Mommy was a pissed cuz vinh’s mom was being so rude and stuff (on the way home, she got on the phone with daddy and was tellin him all about it), and told me that we were never goin over to his house again. Still cant help but chuckle. I should be feelin PO’ed too but I think that since it’s never happened to me before, I cant help but find it different. And to find out that my parents have never been as strict as his mom, was refreshing, I guess.

I really shouldn’t even be on here right now. I’ve got to finished reading my needed pages of the invisible man for our lit circles tomorrow and really need to get started on my social studies project. Not to mention, I failed the science test today so I really need to do something about that, too. And I need to double check on my English project that’s due tomorrow, too.

*sighs* such a busy week.

Shelle is now staying at daddy’s office in macon. On Saturday morning, daddy made us pack all of her things and moved it to the new house here in warner robins. It was so sudden, we didn’t know what was happening. But, for the rest of the day and sunday, she unpacked all of the stuff that she didn’t need to bring to daddy’s office and got the stuff that she did need for Monday when we were supposed to go there. So now, she has to wake up earlier and stuff and get driven to and back from skool like how me and brian had to do during our first few weeks of skool.

I thought that it’d be really sad and stuff to know that shelle was really gonna be farther away from me now that she’s gonna live in macon. And since we both didn’t have any interweb, it’d be even harder to talk to each other. But surprisingly, I’m okay. I expected to cry a little bit and stuff after skool, but I didn’t. I think it’s cuz I was kinda gettin used to it. You know, bein alone without her and stuff. She’s gonna be over this weekend, tho, so we’ll catch up then.

Found out that we get progress reports in 2 weeks. I need to keep my grades at what they are now or else I’m doomed.

I finally got to unpacking all of my boxes yesterday. Wow, I found my yearbooks and I was lookin through it for a while. It was so funny seein everyone and how different they were. And all of the stuff that I had packed away for months, wow, I forgot that I had all of that stuff. :P and I found all of this stuff that I saved from the previous years of the gang and stuff. Man, it really brought back the memories. I really wished that I could go visit them at skool or something.

And I got to thinking about how cool would it be if I really had a penpal. Someone who lived in another state who didn’t know about me unlike how it is with writing letters to haley and the rest of the gang. I really want to try it out and see who I’d be talkin to. It seems really interesting. And I’d love to give them secret assignments; that’d be really cool.

I really should be goin now.


pointy.star