serious insanity: September 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Friend problems

I was talking to Shelle earlier today, and now I can't stop thinking about my whole Lauren issue after talking about what happened this weekend.

I guess some backstory is needed first. Basically, since Meethu brought it up earlier this summer, I kind of realized that there are some parts of Lauren that I don't like? It's more like, it's fun to hangout with her once in a while, but after a while, things just get kind of awkward? And there are some parts of her personality that I just don't understand her reasoning of either.

And unlike last year, where I usually saw her once a week, I barely see her anymore since this summer, which I think also impacts how I see her personality since it's so infrequent now and I'm not as used to her quirks since I see them less often so they're more obvious now.

It's ironic because Meethu said that sometimes she felt uncomfortable around Lauren because of what she'd say or do, but now that they spend so much time together because of classes, she's fine with her.

But yeah, long story short: I see Lauren less now and notice more of her unsavory personality. This was reinforced over this weekend when we were at AWA with Jackie, David, and his little sis, Kim.

Basically, I have no idea why she was so aggressive and mean towards David this weekend. I mean, yeah, she probably meant it to be funny and playful, but she was so aggressive about it, almost always mean towards him.

When I talked to David about it, he said it was probably because she was following the bandwagon since Jackie liked to throw him under the bus because of their "rivalry", and because Kim and I regularly throw him under the bus as well. But like, Kim does it because their siblings, and I do it because I'm always playfully mean towards him and usually kiss him afterwards. Jackie is mean to him jokingly, but not all of the time, unlike Lauren. She was straight up mean towards him sometimes. I even kind of had to tell her off on it once or twice.

But I also think that she was mean out of jealousy. A while ago, Raymond told me that Lauren was mad at him for a while because she thought that he was taking me away from her since we hungout so much together during one semester. That's what mainly keeps popping up in my head whenever I think about how mean she was towards David because I know I told her that I see David on Tuesdays and Thursdays the other day, which was a few days after she texted me saying she missed me.

So yeah, David was basically bullied all weekend, and I didn't realize the extent of it until Shelle talked to me about it because she felt so bad for him from her observations of our group whenever she saw us. She said that I should stick up for him more and be more nice to him so that he knows that I'm just kidding about all of the mean things I say to him. And I feel like a really bad girlfriend because I didn't realize just how much it probably sucked for him this weekend.

I didn't even ask him how he felt about all of the bullying! D: Knowing him, he wouldn't voice any complaints either way. D: I'm gonna see him on Friday, so we're gonna have a nice, long chat about this past weekend and make sure that we're on the same page and that I apologize for being such a bad girlfriend.

And, I dunno, I might have to have a talk with Lauren as well if those two are ever gonna interact again.

But yeah, this past weekend opened up my eyes to a lot of Lauren's quirks that I just don't understand. For example, Raymond was also supposed to come with us but dropped out at the last second because he was too busy. We were originally going to take two cars up there since there was six of us going, but since Raymond dropped, we could have taken just one car. But no, Lauren said that one car wouldn't fit all of our stuff so she'd still take her car since she had so much stuff. We're all pretty sure that we could have fit all of our stuff in David's trunk since it was empty and pretty spacious. She didn't even consider looking at his trunk and seeing if it was manageable; she just went to her car.

WHY? We could have save gas money and effort, because I know that she hates driving in Atlanta, so why would she willingly drive up there when David could do it instead? I don't understand her. My only reasoning is because she wants to be able to have her own escape route if she needs it and/or because she didn't want to be stuck in a car with some strangers. Idk.

Another thing, the whole sleeping arrangement thing. We've stayed at this hotel the last time we went to AWA, so we knew that there'd be two queen beds and a pullout bed in the living room area. The last time we were there, the couples got to sleep in the pullout bed since there's a partition to section the living room off from the bedroom to give some privacy.

I guess it was kind of assumed that I'd sleep with David in the pullout bed since Raymond wasn't there, but who gets the bed instead? Lauren. Her reasoning was because she didn't want to disturb the rest of us since she sleeps with her boxfan on. That, and because she doesn't like people touching her while she's asleep. But the partition is basically just two doors side-by-side, so we could all hear her fan anyway. -__-"

And we just let her because Kim was already settled on a bed about to go to sleep, Lauren had already terrorized David into staying in bed with Kim to avoid Lauren, Jackie didn't care, and I was just so incredulous and didn't give a fuck since everyone else had already settled in bed.

Like, I can understand her reasoning for not wanting to sleep with strangers since she had just met Kim, but she's met Jackie before and said that she didn't mind sleeping with her when we were trying to come up with sleeping arrangements last month, so why couldn't she sleep with Jackie this weekend? I mean, neither of us put up a fight with Meethu sleeping with Luke last year since they didn't get to see each other often. Why would she take the bed for herself when she knows that her friend would like to sleep with her boyfriend since she doesn't get to do that often?

Like, isn't that an obvious thing to do for your friends who are in relationships? I guess I'm saying that because I know I wouldn't mind sleeping with a stranger if I knew that my friend got to sleep with her boyfriend that she doesn't get to spend much time with in the first place, and Jackie said the same thing last month when we were going over sleeping arrangements.

Basically, I was pissed because her taking the pullout bed seemed incredibly selfish.

And I never bothered calling her out on anything because they didn't seem like such a big deal at the time, but the more I think about it and how everything adds up... I should have called her out after all. It's just that everyone in our group is so chill about everything that we don't really care to protest about anything, so I doubt her behavior really bothered them that much either. Like, I was mildly annoyed whenever any of these things happened, but I just shrugged it off as a Lauren just being Lauren thing, but after talking about it all to Shelle, we realized that it's not a Lauren thing, it's a spoiled thing.

Even though she has an older brother, he's around 10 years older than her, so she basically grew up as an only child, and she's used to getting her way, and no one in our group is bothered enough about it to put up a fight with her selfishness so she gets away with it.

Another thing that she does that kind of annoys me is that whenever she meets new people, she always ends up telling all of these stories and experiences that she had to them, and she kind of puts on this air to seem cool, and I just want to tell her that she doesn't need to tell everyone her life story to impress them. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't really know what to say when people tell me stories of the good or bad things that happened to them because I don't know what they want me to say other than "oh, that sucks" or "that's pretty cool". Like, am I supposed to validate you??? Idk man, but Lauren does it a lot.

But yeah, I don't know if it's because I've known her for a while now and am finally seeing sides of her that I didn't notice before until Meethu brought it up and I started paying attention, or because we're just growing apart.

So yeah, now I'm in a dilemma. I don't see Lauren that often so is it even worth telling her all of my problems with her, and if I do, how do I do it so that I don't lose her friendship or let things get awkward with us? Or is her friendship even worth keeping if I have all of these problems with her?

Thursday, September 25, 2014

I really need to stop procrastinating...

I am just procrastinating a lot since this summer, and even though I know I shouldn't because doing everything last minute stresses me out like crazy, I still do it. D:

Also, I have terrible time-management skills. -__-

I mean, why else am I still awake at midnight trying to work on my rough draft that's due tomorrow and also do finance homework?

Next Sunday and Monday is really going to suck since I won't be able to do any homework this weekend since I'll be going to AWA. ;__; Plus, I have a super hard test and paper due on Tuesday... DDDD:

But really, I think my main problem is getting the motivation to do any homework. It's just so hard trying to do everything after classes are over and all I want to do is take a nap or vegetate for a couple of hours. :\

Maybe one day I will be able to work on my procrastination problems. Obviously not today, lol. I have homework to do. :P

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Dusty Reads: Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

Dusty Reads is a weekly post featuring a book that has been sitting unread on my home shelf for some time.

Title: Lola and the Boy Next Door (Anna and the French Kiss #2)
Author: Stephanie Perkins
Pages: 338
Publication: September 29, 2011
Publisher: Dutton Books
Summary taken from goodreads:

Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn’t believe in fashion...she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit--more sparkly, more fun, more wild--the better. But even though Lola’s style is outrageous, she’s a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood.

When Cricket--a gifted inventor--steps out from his twin sister’s shadow and back into Lola’s life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.

I remember buying this book almost as soon as it came out because I really loved the author's first book, ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS. This book sounded so great and interesting and fluffy and just as humorous as the first book, and I have no idea on why I didn't start reading this book immediately.

Now it's too late because my sister took it with her when she moved out since she said that she had a higher chance of actually reading it before I did (she still hasn't read it -__-"), so even if I wanted to read the book, I can't. I'm hopefully going to see her on Friday, so maybe I can get it back from her, but the chances of me reading it anytime soon is still pretty slim...

Friday, September 19, 2014

47 questions about me

There was a list of questions that someone I follow on Tumblr posted so that his followers could ask him which questions to answer, and I was like, "hmm...why don't I do it?" But I'm gonna answer all of them just because. :P

And honestly, I never really thought about half of these questions before so the answers kind of surprised me as well.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I've never really wanted one, but I wouldn't have minded having one if someone came along. (He did.)
2.When did your last hug take place? Earlier today, lol
3.Are you a jealous person? For a quick second and then I'm over it.
4.Are you tired right now? I'm always tired 90% of the time -__-"
5.Do you chew on your straws? Always
6.Have you ever been called a tease? Yes
7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I don't think so. I usually end up napping for a bit.
8.Do you cry easily? Usually during movies
9.What should you be doing right now? Sleeping or homework
10.Are you a heavy sleeper? "Heavy"? Like, a deep sleeper? If so, then yes.
11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? I don't know; I hope so.
12.Are you mad at someone right now? Nope
13.Do you believe in love? Yeah, but just as much as believing in people falling out of love.
14.What makes you laugh no matter what? Funny faces
15.Who was the last person you talked to? My bro
16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like? No, I never did...
17.Will you get married? Never really wanted to get married so who knows.
18.When was the last time you smiled? A few minutes ago
19.Does anyone like you? Yup
20.Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, lol
21.Who was the first person you talked to today? This guy sitting next to me in class
22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My sis
23.What are you NOT looking forward to? The future
24.What ARE you looking forward to? AWA!
25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? Kind of? He asked how I felt about I love you and I told him that I'm a commitmentphobe...
26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do? Prolly feel sad and happy that he's moved on
27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I hope so!
28.Are you a forgiving person? I think so
29.How many TRUE friends do you have? 6?
30.Do you fall for people easily? No
31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? No
32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? A water bottle, ya nasty :P
33.Who was the last person you drove with? My sis, her bf, my bf, and bro
34.How late did you stay up last night and why? Til 12:30 cuz I had practice at 9 and ended up playing Munchkins afterwards, so I didn't get home until 11 and didn't want to do anything other than eat dinner and watch something on Netflix.
35.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Most definitely
36.Who was the last person you took a picture of? Marc because he fed me, lol
37.Can you live a day without TV? If it wasn't for Teen Wolf, I wouldn't be watching TV period.
38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? When Jackie told me something.
39.Three names you go by... Mel, Sa, Salad
40.Are you currently in a relationship? Yup
41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie? She's the Man XD
42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? Maybe
43.What’s your current problem? Time management and finding motivation to do everything on time
44.Have you ever had your heart broken? Nope
45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships? I always thought that I couldn't do it, but now I'm willing to give it a shot.
46.How many kids do you want to have? None
47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? Not really, it's more hard for me to realize if I like someone or not.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Teen Wolf Season 4 is Over

The fourth season of Teen Wolf is finally over, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. :\ I finished watching the season finale with Jackie last Monday but didn't really have the time to process it since I've been so busy since then.

Obviously this post is going to contain some spoilers so don't read this if you haven't seen the finale yet. Or the whole season. :P

Not gonna lie, this whole season has been pretty meh compared to past seasons. My friends and I weren't as excited to watch the episodes this season. We almost immediately forgot the plot after we watched each episode.

Don't get me wrong, there was a pretty good plot twist and some characters had a good arc, but overall, the show wasn't as great as it could have been. I mean, we were completely criticizing all of the plot holes in the first episode!

I'm really happy with Derek's character growth throughout the seasons though. I just loved how he slowly learned how to be happy and content with himself.

I also liked how Parish had a bigger role in this season because he seemed like an interesting character last season. I'm looking forward to finding out what type of creature he is--while mocking all of the plot holes that it's inevitably going to reveal. I really hope that he's a dragon, lol. Dunno how that'd work, but I'm all for it. Or for him to really be a phoenix! :D

But the season finale gave me mixed feelings. There were some good parts and there were some bad parts. The good parts involved Derek almost dying and being okay with it before evolving into a wolf and being naked afterwards. And the Sterek scenes, can't forget about that. :P It was clearly put in the show to appeal to the fans because that was the first time Stiles and Derek were actually in a scene together talking to each other all season, and there were lots of looks and eye contact and snark for fangirls to have a heart attack.

The bad parts mainly involved Kate Argent escaping--Christ should have just shot her!--and Peter still being alive. I'm not saying that Scott should have killed him, but I'm saying that Scott should have killed him. XD

So yeah, kind of disappointed with this season, but I'm still going to watch season five, which is coming out some time next year.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Top Ten Tuesday: Authors I've Only Read One Book From But NEED to Read More

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by the Broke and Bookish.

I don't know why I haven't read any of their other works yet since they're such good authors. Oh yeah, it's because of my usual excuse: no time. -__-"

Top Authors I've Only Read One Book From But NEED to Read More:

John Marsden
Holly Goldberg Sloan
Neal Shusterman
Kirsten Smith
Emmy Laybourne
Wendy Wunder
Megan Miranda
Paolo Bacigalupi
Miranda Kenneally
Mike Mullin

Monday, September 8, 2014

so...tired...

I am so tired.

Even though I go to sleep around midnight now, which is pretty early since I usually go to bed around 1-2 every morning, and get at least 7 hours of sleep, I am just exhausted by the end of classes every day. This is especially true on Mondays and Wednesdays when I have four classes, three of which are back-to-back.

I think being stressed and worried about all of the homework and reading assignments I have to do for each class is also wearing me out. D:

But I just realized this: I get super sleepy around eight or nine every day, but once I power through those hours, I'm perfectly awake until midnight. Is that just me, or does this happen to everyone? I mean, my mom was also getting sleepy around that time last night.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Tumblr Pics 47

There is like literally no time for me to even try to blog anymore because I'm so busy or tired. D: I actually only have one assignment due tomorrow, but it's going to take a while to write, so I'm procrastinating. I also have a lot of reading assignments due on Friday which makes me want to cry tears of blood. ;__;